It’s my blog, I can rant if I want to.

So, what’s with all this new “mommy” vocab flyin around?  If I hear one more use of these dumb made up words that insert “mom” where the other appropriate letters used to be, I may go apeshit.  It’s not cute people, it’s idiotic.   “Mompreneur”.  “Momtini”.  “Momtourage”.  urgh.  Yes, I am a mommy.  But if I start a business or invent something cool, I am an ENTREpreneur.  It’s really okay for me to have an identity other than that of MOM.   And if I’ve had a long day with the kids and I want to hang out with my girlfriends and have a drink, I am NOT with my MOMtourage having a MOMtini.  It’s a fucking martini you morons.  Just cause I’m a mommy, I can only drink beverages with cute names?  Hell, we’re not that delicate folks.  Spend a day in any mom’s shoes and you’ll see that at the end of the day, she is not only entitled to a drink or two, but also to a drink that could grow hair on her chest.  You wanna be more accurate, give me a shot of JaegerMOMster.  Screw the momtini and give me something that will help me sleep off the stress of having to listen to nonstop whining and bickering all day.  Some people call that “happy hour”.  

I’m sorry that I choose to separate myself from my kids on occasion, but I think it is ok and actually healthy for women to do things that don’t involve their kids.  We don’t need to attach “mom” to the names of these activities, which I feel is really just an attempt to remind us what they think we should be doing instead.  It’s like they’re saying, “well, ok, you can go and run that successful business that makes you feel proud and fulfilled, but make sure you don’t forget what your real purpose in life is supposed to be.”  Yes, I know we are mommies and that certainly should be priority #1–sometimes.  However, I am a person first, a wife second and a mommy third.  If I don’t fulfill the needs of #1 and #2 before those of my kids, I don’t believe that they will get the best out of #3.  How can I give them 100% if I don’t feel like a whole person to begin with?  My kids complete me.  But just as I wouldn’t be whole without them in my life, neither would I be without my husband or my job or my dreams or my hobbies or whatever else it is that makes me feel good about myself.  I have to be happy with myself before I can be a good mom.  I need to show my kids a happy person.  I can’t be an effective mother or a good example to them if I am not first taking care of myself and my marriage.  How could my kids be happy with a stressed or sad mom as their parent?

As moms, we wear many different hats.  Yes, we often wear them all at once (I like to think that my personal hat is a cute little French cloche with a big silk flower on the front, but I accept that it is often getting squashed by the heavy, ugly chauffer cap, or the doctor’s , or sometimes the French maid’s–read into that what you will.)  Yet I prefer to keep my identities separate.  I mean, when’s the last time anyone called someone a  “DADpreneur”?  I can be all these things at once, but for cryin’ out loud, call the individual role it what it is.

To be clear, I am proud of nothing more than my children.  They are my light, my motivation for all things.  They give me more reasons to smile than anything else I encounter on a daily basis.  I am of course proud to be called “MOM”.  But this drink I have in front of me?  It’s not a “momtail”.   It’s a COCKtail,dammit.  Wait, that’s another issue altogether…