We went to Sunday Mass with my in-laws this morning.  It’s been awhile (model Catholics we’re not) so we went over our rules and expectations with the kids:  no talking being the main one.  We settled in our pew, and Sophia, being 5, was good for the first 4 minutes.  She then spend the next 45 in various stages of wiggling, whining and whimpering.  During the final 10 minutes or so, I’d had enough of her constant motion and badgering me with “Is it almost overrrrrr?”  So, like any good Catholic mom, I tried to put the fear of God in her.  Our exchange went like this:

“Mom!  Is it almost over?”  (at least she was remembering the “Be quiet” rule, as she kept her voice to a stage whisper.)

“Sophia, I told you no talking in mass!”

“But mom, is it almost over?”

I make the “ZIP IT!” sign.

(whispering LOUDER) “But MOOOOOMMM…”

“Sophia, you need to have good manners in church.  You don’t want to be rude to Jesus in His house.  He can see you, you know.  And God is watching you too.”

(Sophia finally shows a glimmer of understanding.)  “Yes mommy.  And Santa is too.”