I know I promised photos, but I can’t find my camera.  It’s probably in my car, but I’m too tired to bother.  Here’s the visual though:

Dust bunnies the size of tumbleweeds.  15 ginormous contractor garbage bags full of trash.  Assorted empty soda cans, water bottles and beer bottles.  A king sized mattress propped against my living room windows.  (must look so pretty from the exterior!)  A half-eaten donut sitting atop a box from Dunkin.  (Dinner!  yum!)  One very exhausted husband plopped on the lone leather sofa we hope the tenents will want because it won’t fit through the door.  The little kitchen tv sitting on the floor in front of said hubby, Giants game keeping him awake.    But it’s mostly dust and dog hair and strange echo-y emptiness. 

We managed to get 95% of the household packed and loaded today.  (We = Matt and the three guys he hired from his Craigslist ad this morning.  God bless the internet.)  The other 5% will be gathered tomorrow–it’s mostly the random detritus of the typical household:  broom, plants, an odd sock or dishrag. 

I’m still in a fog of denial.  I’ve been visiting with friends and neighbors and as I say “see ya later!”  it feels like I still live here.  This is my house, my street, my ‘hood.  Nevermind that the house is mostly empty and echoes when I call out to Matt.  It’s not sinking in just yet.  I’m okay with that for now.  I’m too damn tired (and beer-filled) to wax philosophic about it right now.  (I did have a moment this morning however…after my Dunkin Donuts run, I took the back way home which winds past my old church and the kids’ old school.  They are building the new church now and it’s the first time I’d seen it since they lay the foundation.  Now it’s a giant steel beam and sheetrock shell and it’s really taking form.  Beautiful, awe-inspiring form.  For some reason, seeing that just made me burst into tears.   I guess it represents that community I was such a part of but now am no longer.  I feel a bit like an empty shell myself.  Pardon the cliche, but that’s all I got.

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